So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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