If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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