he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
