my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
