you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
