and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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