well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
