I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
