I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
