The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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