i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize