I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
