1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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