Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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