Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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