I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
