literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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