I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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