That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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