Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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