We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
