Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
