He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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