do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
