Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
