I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
