i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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