Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
