yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
