Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
