Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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