you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
