He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
