I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize