May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
