Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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