Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
