He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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