I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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