what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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