Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
