Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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