Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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