But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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