Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
