I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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