Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
