You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
