tell your sister to shave her snatch
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
