This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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