in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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