I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize