who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
FUCK WHALES
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize