Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
