you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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