awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize