I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
