btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need a beard to bite.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
