Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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