Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
