wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm always down for nudity.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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