toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
