Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
be right there i have to get my cape
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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