So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
