I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
