and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
