My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
