WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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