don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
