I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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