Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
