Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
